March 2010
13 posts
1 tag
what are your biggest mistakes in life to date
there are a few things i regret, but nothing really stands out as big. sure i should have focused more in school, should have saved money…but i wouldnt be who i am or where i am today if things didnt go the way they did, good or bad.
Ask me anything
1 tag
formspring.me
questions and answers http://formspring.me/drayamonster
perfect timing
i found out this morning i was dropped from a class because my hand is fucked up. i dont have enough units. i just lost my medical insurance. again. time to find a “real” job. bleh.
1 tag
hey look, i am just like you. and you. maybe not...
hi. my name is drea. i have a mood disorder. i was diagnosed bipolar (no, i dont know which type. quite honestly i have various other health problems and i dont remember the fucking names of all of them) i was in denial. i tried various types of medication, they made me feel exponentially worse. i hate the idea of therapy because hey, lets face it, i trust little to no one…and i am certainly...
words.
i have no desire to live. stop the presses, this is no suicide note. i have no desire to die also…but ive lost my drive. i dont care. im not happy. and i dont see the point.
doing anything other than lying in bed hurts. and sometimes that hurts too.
i know, i shouldnt let losing a guy bring me down. but thats not all of it. i was already spiraliing. already down…and in the past...
words.
i have no desire to live. stop the presses, this is no suicide note. i have no desire to die also…but ive lost my drive. i dont care. im not happy. and i dont see the point.
doing anything other than lying in bed hurts. and sometimes that hurts too.
i know, i shouldnt let losing a guy bring me down. but thats not all of it. i was already spiraliing. already down…and in the past...
help, i'm alive
i have finally realized that my manic depression does not just affect me. i have hurt someone i care for dearly. i am so very very sorry.
an attempt at converting emotion into words,...
pain. i hurt. badly. saying that i “hate” feeling like this doesn’t really brush the surface. hate is an inadequate description.
nothing helps. ncis marathons. caffeine. alcohol. friends. nicotine. hair processing to the point of possible chemical burn (not intentional), sleeping, eating, talking. not talking. art. music. nail clippers. showers. analyzing. cleaning. cuddling...
Meditation. I need to not overthink so I can improve the situation and not worsen things. Be calm. This too shall pass.
“God damnit. i do feel like i am in a nicholas sparks novel. now one of us just...”
fuckkkk
i have come to a few conclusions. 1. no one has ever mad me feel this way (other than you)…er…rather…ive never felt this way about anyone before. dead or alive. real or imaginary (*smirk*) friend or family, lover or what have you. 2.you are different. 3.through countless hours, days, months, and years i have analyzed this. thought about and studied it LOGICALLY. asked for...
temporary lapses in sanity.
i am tired. i took vitamins and supplements to calm my anxiety and help me sleep. i cant. i am weirdly calm. i am obscenely uncomfortable.
it feels like there are bugs crawling all over my skin. i havent felt this in months. at least half a year. i feel disgusting. i want to take the hottest shower in my life, to bathe in hydrogen peroxide. i want to burn everything in my room, soak everything...
